I Love It
by I'Like'Cheetos
Summary: I didn't like the was Shepard acted when Kaidan told her his feelings for her in Mass Effect 3. After what he said on horizon, and how she is now CLEARLY in a relationship- no human would take it that well... So this is how my Shepard would have reacted. Shekarain, comical, Shepard gets drunk, common, you wanna read it. Trust me. Song parodied off of "I Love It" By: Icona Pop.


**Okay. I don't know what the hell I was thinking coming up with this story. But... I was SO MAD at Kaidan for telling me this, and I was SO MAD with how well Shepard took it. This is how I would have handled it if I were Shepard.**

**I guess things like this are probably why I am not Shepard...**

**Now you may enjoy. XD**

**Oh... Shepard is a little OOC, just in case you yell at me. **

**The song used is loosely based off "I Love It" By: Icona Pop**

**DISCLAIMER- The Mass Effect series and Characters belong to Bioware. -Well, Serenity kinda belongs to me-you know what I mean.**

**O.o.O.o.O.o**

With the Reapers on Earth's ass, the Crew of the Normandy SR2's squad and crew are starting to get a little rambunctious. While having to speak to the Asari Councilor, Shepard decides to take a few moments off for some of her comrades and closest friends. They have all been rather interesting with Joker pretty much confessing his undying love for EDI, Liara confessing her undying love for her mother, and Garrus wanting to tie the knot with a 21 gun salute. All of her friends are one of a kind, and she is so lucky to have such wonderful support. But there was one last person that she had to deal with; Someone that she needed to speak to, but didn't necessarily want to. She has been avoiding Kaidan ever since she shot Udina to save the Council from being his Cerberus prize. The real problem was when she joyfully accepted him back on the Normandy. Since then, he has been acting extremely strange and now it needs to be dealt with.

God, she wishes she didn't have to deal with it.

He clearly didn't, before.

The little date went well. They talked about sanity checks, the war, crappy wine on the menu, and his home in Vancouver, but nothing prepared her for what he was really wanting to say.

"Let's have it." Shepard says as she leans back comfortably in the dining chair on the Commons of the Presidium.

"The war isn't the only thing keeping me up at night..." He lingers within his words. "I... I wonder about us."

"Us..?" Shepard deeply sighs herself looking directly at him. Her attention is unwillingly drawn and she tries to avoid eye contact while scratching her head.

"Us." he looks straight in her eyes.

Shepard lingers her eyes closed. Deeply inhaling, she shakes her head at his honesty.

"Kaidan it's not that easy-" she doesn't know how to say it.

"I wanna understand what this is between us... I want to make sure what we have here-"

"Kaidan we are in a war right n-"

"No, really, Shepard. Plase let me-"

"Reapsers Kaiden-"

"... I... have feelings for you. I always have." he says deeply exhaling.

Shepard took in his awkward silence with the shake of her head as it came closer and closer to the table.

"Kaiden-"

"What we had..." he continued, "Three years ago, before Sovereign... That was... special. I haven't stopped thinking about it, and... I want that back." he says laying a gentle hand on hers. She looks up to him, excusing him with her eyes.

Shepard sits there, completely baffled; Speechless; Can't say a word. Is he serious?

"Kaidan, I-"  
"Shepard," he sets his voice to a whisper. "I love you." he pauses to let it sink in. "I always have and-"

"Kaidan, stop."

"Please-"  
"No-"

"Serenity,"

"Commander." she says in a deadly pace and she pulls her hand away when he speaks her first name. She stands in shock, quick breaths escaping her mouth. She freezes in defense.

His eyes grow twice the size of his face realizing what he had said. He hadn't meant to cross such a disrespectful line.

"Commander..." he chokes. "I... I'm sorry. I-"

"Now you want to talk?" she says crossing her arms in the only way Commander Shepard can. Her voice is soft and stern... Scary calm. "Because you didn't have much to say six months ago on Horizon-"

"Please-"

"You know, that day where you found out that the one that you thought you loved came back from the dead?"

"That was-"

"Cerberus or not."

"Commander... please-"

"Or two months ago on Mars, when you accuse me time and time again of treason against who I work for and questioning my loyalty to everyone!"

He remain silent.

"Now you miraculously have these feelings for me again and expect me to fall head over heels?" she says in the calmest way possible. Defeated, she lands back in her seat with Kaiden in silence of the moment.

Shepard huffed in exasperation, cooling down from what she had just said. She has needed to get that off her chest, but didn't know how. Now that it had been said, she wishes she had said it under better circumstances.

"I'm sorry..." his voice was as soft as a feather.

Deeply exhaling, she regains her control and puts her hand on his this time.

"Kaidan. I shouldn't have shouted like that, I apologize." he refrains from making eye contact at this point. "But you have to understand the position that you put me in." she says with a strong yet quiet voice. "What we did have was special. It really was. But when we met on Horizon, you have no Earthly idea how happy I was. I thought that we were going to continue and really be together." she starts as she pours her heart out. "When you weren't there for me, I was devastated. I thought that I was going to lose everybody, not just you. But... Garrus- He saw something in me that you didn't. He was there for me when you weren't. He saw me in ways I thought that you didn't see anymore. I was so mad at you and so upset... But, unlike you and me, Kaiden, he and I became something more than one simple night." She says with her head hung low. "I even told you about him when you were in the hospital. I knew that there was something there but..." she looks to him.

"Please... Please stop." Kaidan says pulling his hand away as he makes way to stand. "I should have thought about you first." he says standing with a sigh. "I hadn't put it into consideration... I just... It-"

he says grabbing his datapad. "I'm-"

"I still care about you Kaidan. You were my first crewmate when I became a commander. Out of everyone, I have known you the longest. You really are my brother, and that is how I love you." she stands to meet his eyes.

Before he walks away he has one last thing to say. "I will always love you more than that." He says standing to leave Shepard in the dust of her own thoughts. "Always."

**O.o.O.o.O.o**

That night, Shepard was ready to get really fucking drunk. She had absolutely nothing to say to anyone, not even Garrus. No one else knows of what had been going down with Shepard and Kaidan, and three women were on a quest to find out. Tali, Liara, and Kasumi has taken it upon themselves to treat their Commander to a little bar in the lower parts of the Citadel. It's a little Karaoke bar that some of the crew had found full of good, strong liquor and a karaoke machine; a lovely pastime that was past down from many, many, many human generations. It was a shady place called "Heluva Knight Club". Not knowing who else decided to join in on the interesting club, Shepard tried to make herself comfortable with her lady friends.

Tonight, the Club has a Karaoke theme. The owner of the Club came upon the stage and introduced herself to be Heluva Knight and announced that the night's karaoke theme was Millennia; to sing a song made for the 21st century Millennia about Space... Human Millennia songs about space. Yay! Many upon many outdated songs were sung, most being written when the 21st century was a baby. The list went on and on for a few hours.

"_**Life on Mars" - David Bowie **_(which Liara giggled at)

"_**Starships" - Nicki Minaj**_

"_**Across the Universe" - Beatles**_

"_**Space Cowboy" - N'sync**_

"_**Supersonic Rocketships" - The Kinks**_

and Shepards favorite - "_**Space Oddity" - David Bowie**_

Nearly everyone wondered who the hell these bands were, and what kind of resources were given to them for inspiration to these songs other than Red Sand. Being an old soul, Shepard did know most of them, but the more drunk she got, the less attention she paid attention to the drunken stupidity that people showed on stage. Instead of watching said stupidty, Commander Serenity Shepard decides to indulge in her lesser self and succumb to the beat that kept on butting around her head. She had an old song in her head and wanted to sing it.

Now.

Standing up, she trips over Tali's foot and falls to the floor with nothing but an 'oof'.

"And where-hicc- are you going?" Tali pulls her commander up by the hood.

"To make a statement-"

"Do you deem this the most wise idea? Because I don't." Liara was weary of her friend.

"I don't-hicc-care," Shepard says standing and making her way to the Karaoke person to put in her song choice.

"Why didn't you try to stop her?" Liara asks Kasumi with a dumbfounded look on her face.

"Do you think I would miss out on the chance to see this?" Kasumi instead brought out her omni-tool to start to record the show.

Once the recent person was finished singing "_**Walking on the Moon" By: The Police**_ Shepard clapped as best as her inebriated brain would allow before grabbing the mic out of their hand and preparing herself. Though the original lyrics were great, she had an idea or two of her own version to sing.

"Kasumi. I hope you're ready." she says seeing her friend do her worst.

"Oh you have no idea-" Kasumi says as the music starts.

"_**I got this feeling on that tragic day when you were gone.**_

_**The Mako crashed into the ship, I watched and let it burn.**_

_**Your shit was tossed outside the airlock as I waved goodbye,**_

_**I almost shot you in the face.**_

_**I don't care!**_

_**I love it!**_

_**. . .**_

_**I don't care!"**_

"Oh Goddis." Liara held a hand over her mouth.

I can't-hicc-watch this-" Tali says letting her head fall over to the table.

"When she says she gives her all, she really gives her all." Kasumi never took her eyes off the Commander.

"_**You're on a different world,**_

_**I'm on the Normandy,**_

_**We're headed back to Earth,**_

_**You don't know what to think.**_

_**You're so damn hard to please**_

_**We've gotta to kill this switch.**_

_**You're from the damn Marines,**_

_**But I'm a Navy bitch!**_

_**I love it!"**_

**O.o.O.o.O.o**

"You were surprisingly on pitch, I was quite proud of you," Garrus said outside of her bathroom door in her cabin.

"Shut up." she manages to speak somewhat to her asshole of a boyfriend. He only giggles.

"No really, if only you danced as well as you sang. I am glad that I got the whole gang to watch when I did."

"You did what?" she opened her door while still on her knees.

"Oh, Kasumi didn't tell you?"

"Tell. Me. WHAT." she grabbed onto his chestplate pull herself up, he held her firmly.

"Oh, just that she sent a message to all of the Normandy crew that you were singing a terrible Earth song while completely inebriated and that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity." he shrugged pulling her to her bed.

"I-am going to KILL he- oooh-" she holds her head in pain.

"At least you can hold a note better than you can hold your liquor." Garrus couldn't help it.

"You're fired." she said plopping on her bed. "Dishonorable discharge to the lot of whoever willingly came to watch me make an ass out of myself."

Garrus laughed. "At least Kaiden got the message."

"Oh, great!" she said turning over. "That makes me feel better."

"No, no, it's okay. He told me himself, that he doesn't wanna be responsible for that ever again. He never wants to see you like that."

"Good." Shepard.

"That just proves he doesn't love you as much as I do. Because I would pay to see that again."

Shepard sighed. "I love you, too, you lovable turrian asshat."

"I'll fetch the Aspirin. Chakwas said she had a full bottle waiting for you when you needed it.

Shepard groaned in her bed.

**O.o.O.o.O.o**

**Yay stories!**

**I literally just made those lyrics up on the spot lol! **

**Really, I can't stop laughing at myself. I can't believe that I wrote that! Wow! **

**I am proud. -Now i didn't have a beta... So...**

**Hope you liked it! - Hope you didn't take it seriously. ^_^**

**xi**


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